Worth/less

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heyitsmechris

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I have this one guy that I have a fling with. We've been on a fling relationship for two months now. Ah I forgot to mention that we are classmates and best friend skkskskskks. And we are✨ both guys. ✨ I really love him, really, because he treats me well. He poured his love on me. I find happiness and peace on him. He always comfort me. His patience is immeasurable I swear. He didn't leave me despite I am a nonchalant to him and always grumpy. He is my solace. But lately, I started to develop a insecurities and jealousy when I'm with him. Not because he was around with other guys or when someone takes a liking in romantic way to him. It's not like that. I felt insecure and jealous when I started to notice that the things I always wish I have--- is on him. He was rich kid, while I'm not. His mother always support him on whatever he like, while my mom is not. He have a father who still have his presence on him despite the fact that his mother and father broke up when he was young, while my father didn't even think of showing his self to me up until now. He has the right to choose what college he want to get in, while me who can't decide for myself because my family will always be the "ako masusunod kasi ako nagpakain sayo." He have a supportive family, while I have not. He excelled in academics even though he didn't review and invested effort on his review, he still get a high remarks-- and he always say "ma-common sense ko lang", while me who still need to invest an effort to learn something. I can't even go on a date with him on a expensive restaurant or fast-food chain because my money that my parents gave is short and only for my school expenses. I can't buy him bouquet and chocolate because I'm poor.

I started to think if I am really worth it to be with him when I started to manifest this feeling. I am really a huge asshole. Am I really worth it for him? I feel conflicted right now because I want to end things with him---- but I really love him. I swear. I don't want to hurt him when he will know this fuck-up feelings of mine. I'm scared that I will just disappoint him. He was my first so I don't want him to leave me but I'm questioning my worth if it is still okay to stay with him despite all this insecurities and jealousy I feel because of him. What should I do?

Comments

    1. sleepandeatallday Feb 28, 2024
      We support you! :blob_pompom::blob_pompom:
      delulu reader likes this.
    2. delulu reader Feb 28, 2024
      So you go on,little cub! Go and confront him.You have my support:blob_pompom:
      sleepandeatallday likes this.
    3. delulu reader Feb 28, 2024
      I go with the comment below.I think the best way to solve this is COMMUNICATION.Address your troubles.What matters is you opening up and hearing what your partner thinks.If bottled up,this may sooner or later burn the both of you.I really do think you should be honest about this.Doing so doesnt make you love him any less.On a bright note,if you could talk this through together,it could be the start of a healthy relationship.You won't lose out.
      sleepandeatallday likes this.
    4. sleepandeatallday Feb 28, 2024
      Anyways I hope this helps. Also keep in mind that this advice, it's coming from someone who has never been in a relationship or even kisses or held hands with someone so it's not very reliable...
      Anyways I wish you the best for the future!~
      Hope it works out for both of you!~
    5. sleepandeatallday Feb 28, 2024
      Talk it out with him. It seems as if you have a lot buried inside your heart.

      You are wondering if all this is worth it, but you can't decide it alone. Relationship goes both ways, right? So you need to talk to him and hear him out too.

      I think you have 3 options.

      A] stay like this and keep your feeling and insecurities buried inside you. However I think this is not a long term solution for your problem. You would feel miserable and so will he. One day, eventually it would be too much for you to bear it.

      B]( recommend )Talk to him and you'll reach a conclusion together. Problem solved. I recommend this method. In best case scenario, you would end up solving the problem and understands each other. In worst(which i think is illogical) scenario he would leave. That is also good because if he left, it means that this relationship of yours was meant to end up this way. Atleast you will have no regret because you tried everything.

      C] Leave him. Not only would you be hurt and feel bad, he would also be confused and feel miserable. Perhaps you might regret this later.

      Anyways the choice is yours but whatever you may choose to do, make sure that you would have no regrets in the future.