I don't know anymore..

Author

thatshou

Well-Known Member
Messages:
26
Likes:
1,213
Points:
186
Blog Posts:
20
With this endless self loathing
times that I'm not myself
not happy nor sad, just empty
a feeling so often
that I question myself
am I not worthy of happiness?
often times I wish I can encounter
even just a tiny bit of happiness
I'll treasure the pieces
even if it's for a short while
memories that won't fade
glimpse of those fleeting times
I'm sad and tired
would often silently cry
holding back for so long
tears that suddenly broke out
I cry my eyes out
hiding the pain
the sadness
the loneliness
it was like a glass that overflow
times running out
till a day comes
when I even harm myself
a day when I give up hope
hope that I've been still holding on
a tiny piece of my sanity
a tiny piece of my emotion
slowly surrending to despair
consuming me whole
to the deep and suffocating darkness
till the light can never be seen
no one would reach out
after all it was troublesome
who would want to save a trash
who would want to save someone like me
a disappointment, useless
and replaceable being
forgotten
I would be gone
and no one else would care
say...
I'm so lost
I can't find the way on my own
Hey...
will you still hold my hand?
will you save---
no, would you stay by my side?
I don't want you to save me
after all,
all I wanted is someone beside me
I don't need you to save me
I need someone who could stay by my side no matter what
It's too much isn't it?
so would you?

Permalink

Comments

    1. thatshou Dec 3, 2023
      aww, thank youuu @Cutting_bamboo !! You too, I hope you have a good day everyday! ::bloblove:::meowflower:
      Cutting_bamboo and CrossBearer like this.
    2. thatshou Dec 3, 2023
      @CrossBearer *hold your hand* we can do this, we can still hold on! :meowflower:
    3. Cutting_bamboo Dec 2, 2023
      You deserve all the happiness in the world! Just a few sentences from you, and all my bad thoughts go away! You can hurt all you want, but please don't hurt yourself! Your tears too, please don't shed them because of self loathing! You can cry all you want, but please don't blame yourself! Have a good day, and a good week after.
      thatshou likes this.
    4. CrossBearer Dec 2, 2023
      Hit me right in the feels .. dang am i crying. No. Its the dust in the house. Im spring cleaning... I'll hold your hand.. If you promise to hold mine:blobReach::blobReach:
      thatshou likes this.
    5. Shadow Bunny Dec 2, 2023
      The pain that is portrayed here, it hits so hard. Beautiful.
      And I hope ur alright *hugs* cheerup :meowflower:
      thatshou likes this.
    6. thatshou Dec 2, 2023
      SleepingTaiger likes this.
    7. SleepingTaiger Dec 2, 2023
      I thought we agreed not to think anymore...
      thatshou likes this.
  1. Sort Comments

    Sort Comments