akki

How to kill boredom
I have tried to answer this question in the past.
I went on a long journey searching high and low for the answer.
In the end I came across an old wise man who said he had the answer.
He had me training day and night, running for miles, lifting heavy weights etc.
I had no idea why I was training but I decided to put my faith in him.
Eventually I became really strong, my training was over.
Finally I asked him why he had me train, how did it help in killing boredom.
‘Boredom’, he said. ‘I thought you wanted to kill Bormann’.
What! I shouted. Wtf is a Bormann?
‘Martin Bormann’, he said, ‘He was a Nazi.
Huh! A Nazi? You had me training to kill a dead Nazi. Wtf is wrong with you?
In a fit of anger I killed the old man. Thus I began the search once more.
A search for how to kill boredom….

Finding boredom
So killing boredom ended in failure.
But I trained, got strong, buff if you will.
Scratch that, buff is a terrible word to use. Forget I even said it.
But hey, I’m now strong enough to kill boredom when I find it.
Hmm is boredom an ‘it’? Could it not be a ‘he’ or ‘she’?
Well I just complicated this for myself now didn’t I?
Is boredom an intangible thing or is it a flesh and blood thing?
How does one find out, where does one look?
When in doubt, Google it. That’s what they say.
Now don’t ask me who they are, this is complicated enough as it is.
So where were we, ah that’s right Google. Searching, searching, searching….
The results…what? You’ve got access to the internet, search for it yourself.
30,200,000 hits, I don’t have time for this. How do I simplify things?
Hmm maybe I’ll try researching in the library…..

Researching Boredom
I’ve arrived at the library….man I've not been here in years.
Now where should I start? Asking for help might not be a good idea…
…’Excuse me, got any books on boredom?’ Sounds stupid right!?
I’ll just browse around for now; I might get lucky.
Let’s see, kids, fiction, non-fiction, photography, biscuits, sciences, history, I.T.
Eh!!! Did I see that right! Yeah…t-that really is an entire section on biscuits…
It’s not even cook books with recipes. It’s literally hundreds of books about biscuits.
Wtf is going on? This library, why does- no I’m getting distracted.
I shouldn’t forget my purpose here. Let’s sear- oops crap!
‘I’m sorry; I wasn’t looking where I was going. Let me get that for you.’
Looking at what fell it's a book, well duh, but why does it look so strange?
Excuse me miss here's yo- woah a jade like beauty......Why did I say that? I'm losing it haha...
Here~ huh she gone. Hey you forgot your book, this erm ehhh- Boredom Sect ~ NUF....how..?
I'm so confused. I need to investigate this...

Investigating Boredom
This book, it's old, too old, ragged too. Looks kinda outta place here me thinks.
And these words~ what is this feeling I get when my eyes brush past them?
What is NUF? National something? United? Foundation?
When in doubt, Google it. That’s what they say. I said that last time right?
Okay let's see; don’t let me down Google sensei~ N U F – search...
And the top result is: Norskregistrert utenlandsk foretak. Erm I don’t think that’s it.
Oh wait idiot, forgot the key part. N U F Boredom Sect – search…
This result looks promising: Discussion - NUF Sects | Novel Updates Forum.
Hmm it’s missing the word boredom……meh! *click*
Would you like to see a NUF Sect go against another NUF Sect? (For Fun and for Laughs)
Eh~ friendly sect wars? And 78.8 % say yes. What have I stumbled on to?
Forever Alone Sect, Cat Sect, Sectless Sect, Chocolate Sect, Chaos Sect…
Am I in the wrong place? Where’s the Boredom Sect? How do I find it?
Maybe I should join NUF…