Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but the genie misheard peace as piece of mind now you a single piece of your mind.

I wish for wisteria tree garden

 

Granted, the genie will send you one when when he can, in a form of a postcard

I wish for a relaxing break

 

Granted, you are completely dose up with pain med to prepare for the doctor to break your leg. It's really a relaxing bone break until the pain meds wear off.

I wish for a postcard immediately.

 

Granted, but they don't know your whereabouts so they'll just post a link to an image so that you can print and send yourself the postcard

Spoiler: and definitely not because they were just lazy

I wish to own a soft, comfortable bed with matching pillows for a good night's sleep

 

^That's such a pretty photo.

Granted, but the bed is on a subscription model, and you can't get rid of the bed or cancel the subscription. So you are charged an outrageous amount every single day. Even if you don't use it.

I wish to be transported to when/where the pic was taken with my health perfectly intact.

 

Granted but the place was struck by a terrain changing catastrophe that left the land wasted and haunted

I wish for a less stressful work

 

Granted but you have a two hour commute each way

I wish seasons seven and eight of Game of Thrones was redone better

 

Granted but the final product was lost during the process never to be seen by anyone.

I wish for a faster way to travel

 

Granted but you have no directional control

I wish for better cooking skills

 

Granted but you can no longer handle anything bladed or pointy.

I wish for a more sensible judgement

 

Granted, but judgement process takes a lot longer.

I wish for all idioms to be true.

 

Granted, you get mailed an entire warehouse filled with cat skin

I wish for unlimited internet connection for free

 

Granted, the free internet is both slow and ad-filled. Not to mention everyone is connected onto the same wifi but without any protection.

I wish for good, clean, drinkable water for everyone forever.

 

Granted but everyone only gets a drop per week

I wish for a cheap but decent lodging

 

Granted. But you have utilities that cost an arm and a leg. Plus really crappy Internet.

 

I wish for a skincare routine that really suits my face.

 

Granted, but you get knee-deep in debt

I wish for a more favorable climate

 

Granted but you got severe Polen allergies

I wish for the end of world hunger

 

Granted. Now introducing world craving. An unquenchable craving for human flesh.
I wish for more spending money

 

Granted, you get a cent more than before

I wish to pass the day without being noticed